On Fatherhood, Privilege, and the Narratives We Normalize
I have been watching the circulation of that Brut clip featuring Vicky Kaushal, speaking about fatherhood and his three month old son with Katrina Kaif, and I cannot ignore what it represents. In the interview he says that there is very little a dad has to do when a baby is three months old. He describes himself as a cheerleader for now and says he is waiting for his son to grow up so he can contribute more. He calls Katrina a warrior and a superhero.
On the surface it sounds affectionate. It sounds humble. It sounds like admiration. But beneath that softness sits something deeply troubling.
At three months old a baby feeds every few hours, wakes repeatedly through the night, needs constant holding, burping, diapering, bathing, soothing and sensory engagement. Those early months are not decorative. They are foundational. This is when attachment forms. This is when emotional regulation begins. This is when exhaustion becomes a daily reality for parents. There is nothing minimal about this stage of parenting. To say there is very little for a father to do is not simply modest. It is inaccurate.
Calling the mother a superhero might sound progressive, but it often disguises imbalance. When women are praised as heroic for handling infancy, what is quietly accepted is that they are carrying a disproportionate load. Admiration becomes a cover for inequality. The burden is romanticized instead of redistributed.
And this is where privilege enters the conversation. Vicky Kaushal and Katrina Kaif are not navigating parenthood under the same constraints as the vast majority of Indian families. They have access to financial security, domestic help, flexibility and support systems that most new parents do not. For many families in this country there is no option to step back and wait for the child to grow older before contributing meaningfully. Fathers in ordinary households wake at two in the morning to rock a crying baby so their partner can rest. They prepare bottles before heading to work. They manage diapers, laundry, doctor visits and household responsibilities without applause and without interview clips. They are not cheerleaders. They are caregivers.
When a celebrity of that scale speaks, it does not remain a personal opinion. Bollywood does not exist in isolation. It shapes aspirations, behavior and social expectations across large sections of Indian society. People absorb what stars say as templates for what is acceptable and normal. If influential figures frame early fatherhood as secondary or optional, it reinforces long standing gender scripts that many of us are actively trying to dismantle.
It is not just about one actor. It is about the narrative being amplified. Brut chose to publish that clip without critique or context. No counterpoint. No engagement with research on early bonding. No acknowledgment that modern fatherhood demands participation from day one. When media platforms circulate such statements as charming sound bites, they help normalize a passive model of fatherhood.
We should expect more.
We should expect public figures to recognize the weight of their words. We should expect media platforms to frame conversations responsibly. And we should expect men to understand that parenting begins immediately, not when the child can talk or play cricket or hold a conversation.
Fathers are not substitutes waiting on the bench until the interesting years begin. They are central figures in the earliest and most demanding phase of a child’s life. If we want a society where domestic labor is shared and women are not silently overwhelmed, then we must stop applauding narratives that excuse absence as humility.
This is not an attack on a person. It is a challenge to a mindset. Celebrity culture in India has enormous influence. With that influence comes responsibility. Early fatherhood is not a spectator sport. It is hands on, sleepless, repetitive, intimate work. And it deserves to be treated as such.
If we continue to celebrate minimal participation as endearing, we cannot complain when unequal expectations persist. The culture we tolerate is the culture we create.
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